Telling
our Life Stories
"I must learn more about my family and friends"
How often have you said to yourself, "I must
take time to learn more about my grandparents," or "I have been
meaning to talk to my parents about their lives when they were
young. . . . One of these days I will. . . Fulfill those good
intentions by interviewing someone of another generation--a
parent, grandparent, great grandparent, son, daughter, grandchild,
niece, uncle. Talking to each other and enjoying family stories
brings harmony and richness to the educational experience. The
interview can be as simple as asking a few questions or as comprehensive
as an oral history interview.
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We
Must Rediscover Our Stories
by Richard Louv From Childhood's Future:
Listening to the American Family
Our stories, our personal stories, our family
stories, are our real gold. If we're lucky, as we age, we put
our stories in the bank, where they gather interest, in deepening
meaning. As I grew up, I loved listening to my grandparents'
stories,: a friend, Liz, told me recently. "I was drawn to their
calm and intrigued by the scope of their lives." Today Liz's
family members rarely tell stories. "One evening I was baby-sitting
a friend's 9-year-old daughter. This little girl loves to hear
stories about her mother's life. So she asked me to tell her
a story about my childhood, and I was struck with panic. I know
I have stories. But here was a child asking me for something
so simple as a story and I couldn't think of one. I learned
two things that night. One was that I has lost touch with the
stories I grew up with; and two, I'm not making many new stories."
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Interview
Hints
Everyone has memories
Whether you are interviewing a young person
or an older person, remember that everyone has memories, regardless
of age. Sharing the stories is a bountiful educational experience--one
that invigorates classes, enhances speaking and listening skills,
and gives individuals a sense of connection.
Questions to Get Started
by Larry Wallingford, Chicago Dept. on Aging
Start the interview with something interesting: compare your "favorites"
such as, colors, food, sports, movies, things you own, subjects
in school or a childhood memory. Another activity for getting
started is "Now and Then." Think about differences when you were
both young--for example: popular songs, movie stars, family activities,
boy's hairstyles, skirt length, weekend activities, household
chores, hardest subject in school, worst problem, favorite grown-up.
More Questions
Storytelling magazine suggests some triggers that get the memories
flowing Ancestry--What do you remember about your grandparents?
Housing--What are your first memories of your house? did you
share a bedroom? Food--Did you help with the cooking? Clothing--What
clothing did you wear as a child? What was your favorite thing
to wear? Recreation--What did you do for fun in the summer?
What did you do for fun in the winter? Religion--What kind of
services did you attend? How did music play a part? Transportation--What
was your grandparent's mode of transportation? What was your
parent's mode of transportation?
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Preparing
for an Interview
List your questions. Ten questions will take
about 30 minutes. You never know how a person will respond.
Some people are talkative and informative; others will answer
each question in just a few words. Help the interviewee to feel
at ease and to talk freely. Create a positive communication
climate, keep the questions simple, non-threatening, and encouraging.
Combine questions so that the easy-to-answer questions come
first and questions that require careful thinking come later.
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Conducting
the Interview
- Be courteous during the interview. You should start by thanking
the person for taking time to talk to you.
- Develop good rapport with he interviewee, and be patient.
- Encourage the person to speak freely.
- Respect what the person says regardless of what you might
think of the answers.
- Listen carefully.
- Paraphrase at key places in the interview (Paraphrase means
stating in your own words what the person has communicated.)
- Keep the interview moving.
- Use positive non-verbal reactions--facial expression and
gestures: --maintain good eye contact, --nod to show understanding,
--smile occasionally to maintain the friendliness of the interview.
- Be prepared to show the person a draft of the interview
report if you write something about it. From Communicate!
by R.F. Verderber
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Mutual Interviews
From Here's How, National Association of Elementary School
Principles, August 1994
A mutual interview provides an opportunity
for both generations to answer and ask questions. The dialogue
created lends itself to mutual sharing. Ground rules should
be discussed and questions selected before beginning the interview.
- Listen carefully. Give one another a chance to talk.
- Avoid judging or pressuring for information if either
party seems uncomfortable about a subject.
- Be alert to, and supportive of, each other's feelings.
- Be aware of barriers to communication such as excessive
noise or difficulties with hearing.
- If you use topics like those below, they should be
discussed by both individuals.
Thoughts about childhood: Ask each other about
childhood neighborhoods--brothers and sisters--best friends--games--treats--chores--songs--school
days.
Thoughts about history: Think about important
changes in your past--major events remembered--technological
advances--when you showed courage.
Thoughts about today: Best times and worst times--what
is difficult--what is fun--interests or hobbies--spending leisure
time--changes you would like to see in your neighborhood--problems
of the world today--your needs.
Thoughts about the future: Exciting experiences--contributions
that would make the world a better place--the major problems
of aging/being a student--how students and older folks can help
one another.
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Resources
for Intergenerational Interviews
Barbara Elleman, Editor of Booklinks, connects
books to intergenerational interviews. Often preceding an interview,
a story helps begin discussion or creates understanding by watching
intergenerational dialogue as pages are turned. She observes,
however, that most of the children's books view older people
in limited fashion. "Rarely in books do children enjoy
activities with more than one grandparent - in fact, rarely
do they have more than one grandparent. Furthermore, though
children today most likely have grandparents in the 55-65 age
range who undoubtedly enjoy careers, travel, and active and
productive lives, the vast variety of grandparents depicted
in the books are grey haired, homebound, stooped, retired and
frail. There seems to be a nary a business person, factory worker,
layer, nurse, doctor, or teacher in the bunch. And, although
headlines tell of today's many teen mothers, the grandparents
of their children, who would probably be only 35 - 40, are not
found on the page.
Despite these missing pieces, the articles
provide a rich array of stories. The mythic grandparent is very
much alive and well in children's books and perhaps that is
the way it should be. The loving, the sharing, the memories,
the passing on of stories, the appreciation of the last years
of life are good for children to experience in their lives,
- and to find in the pages of their books. "From the march
1995 issue of Booklinks This issue gives wonderful book suggestion
and is a must for anyone working with intergenerational audiences.
Try your public library or order the issue from the American
Library Association, Book Links, 434 W.Downer, Aurora, IL 60503,
708-892-7465
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Children's
Books for Reminiscing
From Booklinks
Ackerman, Karen, Song and Dance Man
This ebullient 1989 Caldecott Medal Winner features a vivacious
grandfather reminiscing about his old vaudeville days.
Coats, Laura J., Mr. Jordan in the Park
Using Mr. Jordan's lifelong visits to the same park as the framework,
this book traces his life from infancy through old age, which
can open a discussion of a person's life cycle.
Combs, Ann How Old is Old?
Written in rhyming couplets, this book explores the relativity
of the age. Four-year-old Alister and his grandfather share
the same birthday. When Alister wonders if his Grandfather is
old, grandfather explains using examples from natural world,
explains that Alister is old for a bee, while he is young for
a star.
dePaula, T., Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs
Tommy describes his delightful visits to the house where both
his grandmother and great-grand-mother live, and ultimately
discovers how precious memories are
Dionetti, Michelle, Coal Mine Peaches,
A grand-daughter recounts the many tales her grandfather has
told her, haring the history and traditions of her Italian family.
Fox, M., Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge
Wilfred lives next door to an old people's home, where his favorite
person Miss Nancy Alison Delacourt Cooper, has four names, just
like him. When Wilfred hears the Miss Nancy has lost her memory,
he questions all the old people to find out what memory is -
and then helps Miss Nancy to find hers in a most surprising
way.
Stevenson, James, That's Exactly the Way it wasn't
Grandpa and his brother Wainey recount their childhood
adventures, but each remembers them very different.
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